I’m going to start right off and say this article is secretly a message to my non-pot smoking girlfriend. She tells me I’m her special stoner boyfriend and for that reason alone I think I deserve something a little more thoughtful for Valentine’s Day this year, being the underachieving man child that I am.
If you too have a special stoner in your life we guarantee the 5 items below will make them fall head over heels in love with you, all over again.
Foria–Cannabis-Infused Sexual Lubricant
It’s time we shed some old-timey stigmas when it comes to women and weed. That means no more slut-shaming, no more side-eye and demeaning remarks about how unladylike smoking cannabis is. And for the love of all that is good and smokey can we also please allow women to fully embrace their sexuality?
If you’re nodding earnestly to any of this you’ll be happy to know there is a sexual lubricant on the market that is infused with weed. Smear some on and watch the highs fly. Foria is a therapeutic oil designed to enhance female pleasure and is made with all-natural liquid coconut oil (MCT) and purified pharmaceutical-grade cannabis oil. What this means is that anything that comes into contact with it, a hungry and willing mouth, for example, will be sure to absorb all that THC goodness.
Sexxpot— Orgasm Intensifying Weed
If sex and pot are your things, then you shouldn’t be surprised that someone who shares your same passions fused the two in an attempt to make a holy alliance unseen since someone first dunked cookies in milk. Karyn Wagner, founder of Paradigm Medical Marijuana and now the owner of Bay Area-based Sexxpot created this unique strain to give women the ability to increase their orgasmic prowesses through the power of pot. Essentially the strain is cultivated with women in mind, with the goal of helping them achieve mind-blowing, intense, full-body orgasms during sexual intercourse.
Hemper — Weed Subscription Box
Stoners crave variety, like switching from Fruit Loops to Trix or Mama Celeste Pizzas to Tombstone (the good stuff). Your special stoner is no different. Help them out a bit this year by setting them up with Hemper, a monthly subscription box that offers everything from rolling papers and roach clips to dab rigs and stash jars. Hemper’s alternating curation of goods always features a glass pipe in the mix, with the ability to choose between the Bare Essential, Hemper Pack and the Glassesntials Box, which includes a premium, hand-curated pipe for its users.
You and your special stoner need some quality alone time. They’ve had a rough day working the cash register at your local Whole Foods and their feet are sore from riding a skateboard all day. It doesn’t matter your special stoner is only 35, they feel like they’ve made it, so it’s best you two take some time and talk some sense into them.
And what’s a better place to talk sense than in a thick, unnerving cloud of weed smoke? That’s the beauty of the Privacy Pop Tent. It allows for optimal privacy and the ability to hotbox your own bed.
You can erect four nylon walls in your bed, spark one up and explain to your special stoner why quitting their job at Whole Foods and growing weed might not be the most viable career choice right now.
Wouldn’t it be great that if for this Valentine’s the date was already set, the romance and mood was apparent and the joints just rolled themselves? Well, get your special stoner the Otto Electric Grinder from Banana Bros and they might just utter those three magical words:
I love this!
Tenderly show them how it works and watch as their jaw falls off their face. And if your special stoner doesn’t love and appreciate you after a gift like this, well, micro-dosing tech geeks are always an option.